Celebrities

One of my crowning achievements as an American is having never watched a single episode of any program involving a Kardashian. I have made a point of this for the past 20 years for three reasons.

One, because I’m not terribly keen on reality most days, I see no reason to watch reality television. Two, Kris and Kim, et. al., have managed to ruin Bruce Jenner and Kanye West, the only humans connected to the Kardashian clan with any discernible talent. Finally — and most importantly — I loathe celebrities.

This is clearly a minority opinion in 2021. At a moment when so many of us seem to take our cultural, political, lifestyle and health care cues from the rich and famous, it feels rebellious to willfully ignore everyone from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to Cardi B.

Understand, please, I’m not saying that celebrities have no right to voice their opinions. They absolutely do. And, in turn, the rest of us have the right to ignore them like a 5-year-old ignoring a plateful of green veggies.

How bad have things gotten?

I flipped on CNN recently to see anchor Jake Tapper seriously ask Dr. Anthony Fauci to comment on a tweet made by pop star Nikki Minaj that “a cousin in Trinidad won’t get the (COVID-19) vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen.”

Minaj went on to encourage her 22 million Twitter followers to “pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied,” when considering being vaccinated.

Said Fauci on the subject of testicular swelling and vaccine-caused reproductive issues: “There’s no evidence that it happens, nor is there any mechanistic reason to imagine that it would happen. So, the answer to your question is no.” 

Nuts, am I right?

The most popular podcast in America belongs to stand-up comic Joe Rogan, who has spent time recently (a) flat on his back after testing positive for COVID-19 and (b) describing his use of ivermectin to treat the disease.

While it’s true the drug won the Nobel Prize in 2015, that was for its use treating the world’s poorest populations for parasitic diseases like river blindness and elephantiasis. In animals, veterinary-grade ivermectin is used to deworm livestock. Is it a miracle cure for COVID-19?

No, says the Food and Drug Administration: “Currently available data do not show ivermectin is effective against COVID-19.” 

By the way: “Never use medications intended for animals on yourself or other people. Animal ivermectin products are very different from those approved for humans. Use of animal ivermectin for the prevention or treatment of COVID-19 in humans is dangerous.”

BS, calls Rogan: “The pharmaceutical companies are in cahoots to try and make anybody who takes this stuff look crazy. But what’s crazy is look how better I got! I got better pretty quick.”

In fairness, Rogan often tells his flock that he’s not offering medical advice — while seeming to offer medical advice. 

But anymore, what celebrity isn’t offering advice? Social media is full of influencers peddling makeup tips, keto diets and sex toys.

The biggest draw in boxing right now isn’t a boxer at all. It’s celebrimoron Jake Paul, who initially “went viral” doing stunt videos on Vine before starring in “Bizaardvark” on the Disney Channel.

And politics? Joe Biden had a cruise ship full of celebs on his side in 2020, including Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Donald Trump — our first celebrity president! — had endorsements from Mike Ditka, Lil Wayne and Roseanne Barr.

My prescription: If you’re voting based on recommendations from The Rock or Roseanne, how about instead you swallow 24 ivermectin tablets and call me in the morning?